The Sun Shining At Midnight

(1983 - 1984)

 
The sun reaches its zenith, the height of its powers, and then SLOWLY declines. The second half of life is the time for the self-centred, purpose driven ego to start to shrink, decline, like the SUN sinking into the Western Sea, to make room for a much GREATER VISION OF THE COSMOS and of LIFE in the depths of the NIGHT. In the first half of my life, the flow of energy was invested inwards into strengthening my ego and my ego defences, but at MIDPOINT the flow of energy, thought & prayer changed as the tide turned. There was and is no stopping these developments. In my inner life my interests and awareness and motivation starts to flow in the opposite direction towards the Cosmic CENTRE (Christ in me the hope of glory). Thus my spiritual energy begins to flow outward into the temporal world of family, career, work, home, garden, local church, society and community but also into spiritual warfare both offensive and defensive at different levels of my life and awareness, internally and externally. Through this protracted warfare I find myself transformed into a blindingly bright but very hard seed of hot burning desire & ambition. I find myself confined inside fierce and dogmatic views and opinions, totally ‘certain of my theological certainties’ but also wrathful and self-righteous, legalistic, when I find my will crossed or contradicted by other people or events or God Himself. But I know I am destined to be a light bringer, a true follower and disciple of Jesus which means living and moving and having my being within the Divine Wisdom. So there is a glaring CONTRADICTION. If I am to become a true Warrior of Light I must first die to myself and to my own will and die to all my self-generated intellectual ‘certainties’ and experience my anger and sense of injustice softened and transformed into the Light of Love. “Unless a grain of wheat falls on the ground and dies, it remains a single grain; but, if it dies it yields a rich harvest” - John 12:24 I now know this transformation begins ‘in the shadow of death’ at the point where hope totally disappears for a season. Yet a ‘new light’ then begins to dawn. “.......but because it begins in the night, there are many who shall not see it, by reason of their sleep and drunkenness’ yet the SUN WILL SHINE to the children (of Wisdom) AT MIDNIGHT. “ Says Jacob Boehme in ‘The Three Principles’
HOW TO HANDLE THE DOMINANT NEGATIVES Hold them before God consciously in prayer Do not succumb to them. Do not despair over them. FEEL them and suffer the pain/conflict/paradox/sinfulness of them but Do not hold on to them & Do not suppress them. Do not seek to ‘push them them down‘ out of sight. “KEEP YOUR MIND IN HELL AND DESPAIR NOT.” ...says Saint Silouan the Athonite Seek to follow the teachings of JESUS in the depths of the darkness & within the intensity of your mental pain and at the very core of your dereliction. Believe ALL the promises of the Sermon on the Mount. Know that God will deal with all the negatives. and remember..................: WHAT IS INFERIOR, ‘DANGEROUS’ AND UNACCEPTABLE TO YOU IN OTHERS IS JUST AN ASPECT OR SIDE OF YOURSELF REPRESSED, SPLIT OFF, AND PROJECTED ONTO OTHERS AND ONTO THE WORLD...IN AN ATTITUDE OF SELF-JUSTIFICATION LOATHING, DISRESPECT AND CONTEMPT OF OTHERS IS NOTHING BUT LOATHING, DISRESPECT AND CONTEMPT OF YOURSELF.

The Midnight Sun

(somewhere above the Arctic Circle)

BUT THERE IS A

REASON FOR THIS!


Therefore, my brethren, you also were made to die to the law through the body of Christ, that you might be joined to another, to Him, who was raised from the dead, that we might bear fruit for God. ( Romans 7:4)

SO MY MISSION IN LIFE  WHATEVER IT MAY BE MUST INCLUDE -


............renouncing all

  1. anger and bitterness

  2. and receiving God’s love and blessing

  3. into my life and communicating it to others ......


BUT HOW?

  1. ...to see eternity in a grain of sand and my present ‘circumstances’ not as some prison-house or lunatic asylum within  this  maximum security BIRTH - DEATH UNIVERSE but as a God ordained opportunity to serve others and to do His will on earth as it is done in Heaven and to bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit within the most unlikely places and times and...

  1. 1.Self-control over sexual thoughts and appetites & anger & intemperate speech

  2. 2. More devotion to everyday realities of work and home.


  1. ........To ABIDE at work

  2. To ABIDE at home

  3. To ABIDE in the Church....and to experience

  1. MEALS: -


  3. To purify my eating and drinking and to make them no longer a concession to greed, burt a sacrament and a means of communion with God through Christ.

( Psalm 103)


He forgives all my offences.

He heals all my wounds.

He cures all my diseases.

He redeems my life from the pit.

He crowns me with love and tenderness.

He renews my youth like an eagles

Julian’s Cell, Norwich

PRIME DIRECTIVE:


Seek the Motherhood of God for further dealings and deeper healings............



Fold the wings of your intellect

and open wide the doors of your heart,

fight the good fight with all your might,

Christ is your strength and Christ is

your right.




But I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail....

......and you,

when you have turned again, strngthen your brothers. (Luke 22:32)




INTERCESSORY PRAYER


Intercessory prayer is getting ‘into gear’  within God’s providential rule inside the church  and inside the world by His Holy Spirit


Healing and Deliverance on my own within Julian’s Cell

(16 - 02 - 1983)


  1. 1.past drug and counter-culture words and deeds

  2. 2.past sexual lawlessness and random acts of  fornication & self-abandonment to sensuality

  3. 3.spirit of revenge and retaliation against childhood persecutors and abusers (school/institutions/American society)

Prime Directives:


OK. Stop confusing the inner with the outer and the objective. All negative feelings (fear, anger, disgust, hatred, contempt) aroused by others come from within myself. these ‘qualities’ I react to in others are repressed, split-off and projected  unhealed bits of my own wounding & inferior self.


Withdrawing projections means: becoming more and more my true self and more aware of what is really going on outside myself.


Yes, get to know ‘reality’ as if it were a long-lost friend. That is the task. No longer be driven by inner fears and compulsions. That is an order


I will gain voluntary control over myself and over situations which are in themselves ‘neutral’ -

Prime Directive:


DIE like the SEED

and FALL into the GROUND,

then

SPLIT OPEN

in the NADIR of DARKNESS

then

GROW UPWARD

towards and then

INTO the LIGHT

to

BEAR MUCH FRUIT.

God The COSMIC Weaver

Isaiah 38:12


Like a weaver

You roll up my life

to cut it

from the Loom



God is weaving my life on the loom of creation; the pattern, the colours; the imperfections (even) are part of His plan; so i can pray (at least) that a given imperfection no longer be a part of the pattern........

The Elijah Task



Within the Nadir of abject despair, having discovered the will and ability to enter the holiest by the blood of Jesus I now dedicate this New Book of Days to “Elijah” and the spirit of prophecy.


My future self is the prophetic spirit which has been released to guide and govern my life with the word of grace and acceptance in Christ and this word and spirit has the power to build me up and to give me my inheritance amongst all the sanctified of all the ages of ages......


so that I may be

a spiritual stone

placed alongside

above and beneath

all the other stones

Christ Himself

the chief corner-stone


When I find my place in this spiritual temple (household of faith, army, bride, vine) I will stand as myself in the power of the spirit of Elijah amongst God;s people and find my voice in the energy of God’s Spirit


  1. -to encourage my brothers & sisters

  2. -to turn the hearts of parents to their children and the hearts of children to their parents

  3. -to help prepare the church for the FIRE of tribulation and for the coming of God, and the glorious return of the Messiah



A Prophecy


The Lord will make a way

to be seen only by those

who follow Him,

The way leads

to points and places of service

where doors will be unlocked and opened

and rivers of blessing will flow in torrents

where no earthly power can stop them.


The flow of the Holy Spirit

will encompass

and remove all obstacles in its path .

Archetypes, complexes and demons

will flee from from before the Face of God.

Demonic Principalities & Powers

will blind and bind only those

who choose them.


A choice against them

will permit the flow of the Spirit

to set everything and everyone free.


OBSCURE BUT TRUE


The real alchemical work: turning paupers into princes, base metals into gold is the work of sanctification (God’s Doing) which requires a night -journey down into the terrors or hell and into the very core of the SHADOW OF DEATH and then upward into a MARRIAGE UNION of the BELOVED BRIDE who MARRIES the ELIJAH - SELF through transformations on the CROSS OF CHRIST in the minds and hearts of all true pilgrims. Yet the spiritual fruit is finally born, appears and is tasted and enjoyed  (it truly is sweet) only in the realm of CONSCIOUSNESS and in the light of Eternal Day.

  1. 1.Illumination

  2. 2.Purgation

  3. 3.Union &

  4. 4.FRUITFULNESS

  1. 1.MY EGO: to be less assertive & aggressive & centred  on myself and obsessed with my limited concerns & perspectives I must  face my worst fears and undertake a journey down into the shadow of death where I await ‘developments’ and God’s guidance and leading back up from the underworld. My life is ‘broken’ in space and time and I ‘die into the ground’

  2. 2.MY SHADOW SIDE: all that is most vicious, brutal, vile  and vain in me, full of insecurity and anger, pride envy and  contempt of others..feelings of both superiority and inferiority. Main characters: Cain/“Ahab”, the Apostate Kings of Israel and Judah.

  3. 3.MY ANIMA (OR FEMININE SIDE):  the fount of all positive feeling and source of my ability to fall in love and to relate positively to God, others and creation. Main Characters: Pharo’s Daughter, The Divine Wisdom

  4. 4.MY INNER SELF and who I really am in myself emerges after many decades as The Wise Old Man full of grace and truth.. Main Characters: Adam/Enoch/Moses/Elijah/John the Baptist/ The Apostle John

Middle Age (35 - 55 years)

Jungian inspired diagram of growth through biblical archetypes  and inner transformation over time through the Cross and Presence of Christ